I am the writer that 2012 deserves ,but didn’t get because blogging is gay and I stumbled upon a vagina *mutters to self*.
Well hello sexy people and Igbo men, yes Uche I’m talking to you . 2012 has been the most exciting year for me ,don’t know about you (don’t care). Young undergraduate single and searching (horny)
***
What he actually means is, those ‘a y’all brothers, who are operantly conditioned to blogging, are gay. My apologies if you suffer such deformity.
In a few hours, 2012 will become history. We slaves, (except i the Plantation master) have already started wishing each other, “happy new year” in advance. We do this not because we are sure of anything, but because we believe we will see the new year whether ‘the enemy’ likes it or not, to borrow a popular refrain.
In no time, 2012 has come and is virtually gone. When we entered this year, we did so with high hopes, just as we’re doing now with the approach of 2013. Seeing as the slaves i follow on twitter have already begun to praise 2013 for kicking 2012′s ass in advance. Amen.
Temisan : new year,same bull 3-| .
Now, it came to pass in the year 2012 AD, disappointments, gratification, deaths, miraculous recoveries from illness, CGPA declination(this 1 plenty), CGPA restoration, Promises, Failures and what not.
Personally , I lost three things this year. 1) Friendship. 2) Money. Virginity is not the third one, thank you 
Temisan : #TeamJuicing
Zaar: shut up . Please .
2012 opened my eyes to the manifestation that is death. Its an inevitable something but i’m not here to remind you of that.
A lot has happened this year.
“Let’s highlight a few”.
Do you know that a lot of Nollywood artistes recorded and released songs to the general public this year but two sent unfortunate brothers to the operation tables of Audiologists {ear doctors} (for my dumb folk) ?
Do you know that nudes were leaked this year by slaves and have thus spoilt the market for others ? You don’t know ? Shii, it casted as far as East Africa.
Temisan : spoilt just your market (.ʃ⌣ƪ)
Tony: ………..
I err..got this east african sweetheart, and I asked her to send nudes and beach(bitch) bluntly refused. Of course she’s on nigerian twitter, the government we have there (twitter elites) as some of you prefer to call it, haven’t set up an immigration department yet. It worries me .
Perhaps, you also know that with this year, came the advent of dating someone who’s not your boyfriend/girlfriend ? You won’t understand.
Temisan : really ? Really ? *sigh* _|¯|o
Do you also know that, a nigerian artiste, right-hand man of an accomplished music producer in Nigeria cum lap-dog of an american hiphop act who loves G.O.O.D music organised a ‘concert’ in a ‘beach’, slapped a (100$) price on snapping a picture with one of the performers and also ‘compelled’ the ticket owners to trek at night under the stars ?? There’s no pun here.
My heart-felt condolences to the star trekkers.
Zaar : couldn’t resist could you ?
Tony : (¬_¬)
Now let’s put our Beloved country in review. Nigeria, is a country with issues and i’m not just saying it. You know. Y’all know. So,
Do you know that Dame Pepe’s husband removed a subsidy that wasn’t there in the first place this year ? *pauses to loud thoughts of “ah ees true o, aahhh”* i know, i know. Seems so far away.
Do you also know that a plane crash few days ago in Bayelsa killed a northern governor, a retired general and two other soldier passengers and while the former two were eulogised by dignitaries far and wide the relatives of the other two found out about their deaths via NTA news ??
Temisan : WAIT WHAT ? :’O
Do you as well know that a Rev Sis. in a western state of Nigeria put her fingers into the vaginas of her female students to find out if they were virgins without permission and all she got was a rap on the knuckles ?
Temisan : *attempts pun ,fails*
Do you know as well that Private Universities now spring up everywhere by bribing NUC officials for license ? Which enables such happenings such as the Chancellor of Madonna University beating a student with a stick on the head for “looking at his car with an evil eye”.
Do you know that Covenant Varsity(high school ) promoted four professors ?
Temisan: leave those people alone _|¯|o
Tony : LOL.
Moving on, Whenever a new year approaches like this, we make resolutions; whether we keep them or not is a different ball game.
Temisan: segshuuuaaaaaaaaalll…
Zaar : we don’t!hoes stay hoes!
Tony : behave (¬_¬)
2012 was beautiful , the music ,the parties, the friends I made,those I lost ,the drugs( for malaria) and the failed exams. Made the year so worth it.
In conclusion, life goes on….
2013 or 2014 or 3000, the earth stays spinning on its axis and revolving around the sun
The years are just markers to number your days and milestones.
Temisan : walking a mile with stones -milestones
2013 will come and go. Those who will be privileged to witness it in its entirety will be ushered through new twists and turns in the human experience; the good, the bad and the ugly.
Will more slaves hustle to take pictures with davido in bed?
Well ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn, sit back and relax(I know y’all have nothing better to do) and enjoy the ride.
From the 3 of us here , this is Temisan,Tony and Zaar wishing you all a happy new year .
Rip Ogaga,Cleopatra and Angela.
*all typos are intentional*
don’t wait up *literally* DONT
