Don’t Stay

He didn’t make any vows to stop,
it wasn’t even in his intentions.
She just wanted to believe he would
Perhaps, another child would make him love her the way she wanted to be loved, the way other women who had children for their husbands were adored and splurged on, maybe not as a woman but as the mother of his children.
The last time had hurt so badly but she had no one to run to.

Woman, don’t marry a man that will sweep you off the ground so much that you can’t find your earth, or take you so far into sea that you can’t find your bank, or take you too far away from home that you can’t run back for shelter.

You’ve cried so much your eyes can never shine brightly again.
The swollen eyebags and broken smile you face your children with is just another lie they can see through.
He just doesn’t care, leave.

Ignore the scorn, ignore the shame, contempt can never kill you
His drunken strong leathery back hands will, his ebullition over absolutely nothing will make you sleep uneasy at night.

There is no type of love worth your peace of mind, don’t stay because of your children, never use them as an excuse for your weakness
it only ends when one of you is dead.
There is no such thing as change.

Do you want to pray the bruises away? Rub, brush and conceal the dark lines under your eyes with make up? For how long?
Can you fast the verbal invectives away from your heart ?

You can try but he will be back with a rabbit and stick, in the form of an apology and a reminder of how much he loves you, and do you see the way he looks at you after you accept him, the way he talks to you, that’s how he breaks you, that’s how he eats you away, slowly, one sentence at a time

He is a liar.
He doesn’t love you, he loves the power he has over you
He wants to keep you subjugated until you die, forever a footstool
He wants to control your every smile, he wants to own your happiness and hand it out in chunks and useless pieces, enough to make you beg and want it, enough to make you codependent

Run away.
make a better way
The children will be fine
You need life to make that happen
Don’t let your spirit before you finally realize you’re dead.

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